Grandparenting With Grace: His will be done.

Six and a half  long hard years of life stolen by fear and uncertainty. Prayers whispered, prayers cried, prayers screamed-thought ignored and unheard. Pride and Selfishness via for top billing. Why should I have to pick up the pieces of some one's messed up life? I don't want to do this!!! I want to do what I want-finally now that the kids are grown and all on their own. It's time for me. I struggled, knowing what God had called me to, but not sure I was perfect for the task. I prayed to be willing. I prayed to be humble. I prayed to extinguish the selfishness. I prayed to be accepting. I willed myself to be it all. I re-buked the spirits of pride and selfishness, and so wanted to gracefully accept. HA!!! I laid it at the feet of Jesus, many times. But to no avail-- or so I thought. It is only in His time that our life unfurls in the direction He sets in motion. It is only when His work in our heart is accomplished that the frayed ends can be repaired and hold fast-standing firm against the pulling, heave and drag of the evil one's lies. We can lay it down over and over again, but until we truly relinquish our grasp over to our only True Strength-our Steadfast Rock- we will continue to struggle as He accomplishes His good work in us. When we are broken and cannot stand on our own, He will come through. When we indeed say, "His will be done." Then our prayers are answered. Soon our Grand-daughter will become our daughter. Soon the uncertainty will end and we will be secure, not only legally-but first and foremost in His hands.

Grandparenting with Grace: The Problem with pride

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I have been reading and working my way through the book Brokenness the Heart God Revives by Nancy Leigh Demoss and published by Moody Press. I find that my occasionally falling into the pits of giving myself a pity part is a sign that I suffer from the sin of pride. Yup, there it is- Pride, the culprit that is ruining my life. Now this is something I can do something about (Is that pride, being so sure?). Yet, as I try to eradicate pride from my life, I find it lurking behind every corner, beyond every hurdle  I manage to clear, this thing called pride gathers new life and masquerades as another unique and companionable form.

I believe pride, in some shape or form, is probably the basis of every sinful action or thought I have. Pride is so easily disguised.  It is easy to dress pride as living a godly lifestyle. Pride can be dressed up in the garment of ensuring my rights are not being overlooked. Pride parades around as a desire for recognition and affirmation. Pride can slow dance me right into isolation, believing that no one understands and no one cares about me. Pride is a nasty companion. It is so deceptive and damaging because it prohibits me from enjoying what I have, asking for what I need, and allowing God to transform my life.

I wonder at times why God seem so far removed from my cries. Could it be my friend Pride has driven Him into the distance? Psalm 138:6 states, "Though the Lord is on high, yet He regards the lowly; but the proud He knows from afar." It may take the rest of my earthly life to die to Pride, but each day I pray that with God's help one more deceptively dressed friend of Pride will be recognized and left to wither when I refuse to give it life. Perhaps in denying Pride I will become who it is God is calling me to be and He will become my ever present companion, replacing Pride. I do believe I just might enjoy the change of company.