Six and a half long hard years of life stolen by fear
and uncertainty. Prayers whispered, prayers cried, prayers screamed-thought
ignored and unheard. Pride and Selfishness via for top billing. Why should I
have to pick up the pieces of some one's messed up life? I don't want to do
this!!! I want to do what I want-finally now that the kids are grown and all on
their own. It's time for me. I struggled, knowing what God had called me to,
but not sure I was perfect for the task. I prayed to be willing. I prayed to be
humble. I prayed to extinguish the selfishness. I prayed to be accepting. I
willed myself to be it all. I re-buked the spirits of pride and selfishness,
and so wanted to gracefully accept. HA!!! I laid it at the feet of Jesus, many
times. But to no avail-- or so I thought. It is only in His time that our life
unfurls in the direction He sets in motion. It is only when His work in our
heart is accomplished that the frayed ends can be repaired and hold
fast-standing firm against the pulling, heave and drag of the evil one's lies.
We can lay it down over and over again, but until we truly relinquish our grasp
over to our only True Strength-our Steadfast Rock- we will continue to struggle
as He accomplishes His good work in us. When we are broken and cannot stand on
our own, He will come through. When we indeed say, "His will be
done." Then our prayers are answered. Soon our Grand-daughter will become
our daughter. Soon the uncertainty will end and we will be secure, not only
legally-but first and foremost in His hands.
