Sunday, January 12, 2014

Grandparenting With Grace: Protecting the mind

As 2014 rolls over and offers up a new beginning, I am thankful for God's grace and merciful forgiveness. You see, I am working on the sin of selfishness. In Nov. of 2010 our not yet 2 year-old grand-daughter came to live with my husband and me. I had plans. I had gone back to college. I was going to. . . Today there are still struggles within, giving it all over to Him- MY. Plans. In exchange for His better plan. However, I am extremely grateful that I am able; that I have been chosen, to love this child for Him. I do not know what the entirety of His plan holds for me, for us. I only know He holds all my days and that is enough.

I am protecting my mind in my old age with scripture memorization.

Psalm 37:1-10 (NIV) I have found a site that will recite it to me so I can check my accuracy in memorization. 

Psalm 37 (NIV)
Of David

Do not fret because of those who are evil,
or be envious of those who do wrong.
For like the grass they will soon wither,
like the green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good,
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,
trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
and your vindication like the noon day sun.

Be still before the Lord,
and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn away from wrath;
do not fret- it leads only to evil
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Fret, Fret, Fret. All. Day. Long.

I am done with this fretting. It steals my joy. Robs me of peace. Holds me back from being content with what I have.

Envy. Envy. Envy. Who me? Yes, me. Not because I want to do as they do, but rather, I want to do. . . I want the time to do. To carry out MY plans. I never thought I was an envious sort of person. Yet, I envy the freedom to do. To shower. To sleep. To just go where, and when I want. To finish what I started and put on hold for my children.  I am GREEN with envy.

God says, the evil will not prosper. They will wither and die. Yet, I envy their freedom-but know a better way. It is my choice. I can choose the here and now --or for all eternity. I will choose Eternity.

Trust, Can I trust? (I don’t know.)

Do I trust? (Definitely not.)

I need to work on this. If I trust, if I do what GOD has set before me, I am promised safety in Him. And, I am promised the desires of my heart if my delight is in HIM.

I am giving my life away to the Lord. I WILL trust in HIM. Why? Because only then will my life be a light, only then will it give glory to HIM.

I will be rewarded,and my desire is to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful ” (Mathew 25:21).

Be still. How difficult this is for me. My time is not His time. I long for this whole situation to be resolved. I long to be content, happy, finished. I am tired of not being who He wants me to be. Yet I know I am in progress. Awaiting completion, for, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:1-6, NIV).

Do not Fret. There it is again, Fret. Fret. Fret. This is meant for me. I Fret. Oh, do I Fret. 

Anger? I have been/am angry. 


The Random House Dictionary defines wrath as:  fiercely resentful anger; vengeance motivated by anger. 

Yup, that’s me.

 Anger, Wrath, and Fretting leads to evil. . . the evil will be destroyed.   

Am I evil?

 My heart is evil. The things I have thought. Desired. Hoped for. I am evil.                         

 My only Hope? 

Is definitely only found in the Lord.  

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