Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Grandparenting with Grace: Lack of Connections

I am in a season of seeming friendlessness. It seems my close friends have all moved distantly in the physical sense and/or relational. Our children have all grown and moved away, gathering together in their own homes and apartments – we no longer have that tie of co-parenting to keep us in touch with each other. Or, friends have moved out of state for job or health reasons. Others are moving into the grandparent stage as actual grandparents- and me- I am a Mama-grandma, raising my grandchild. While friends exclaim how fun grand-parenting is and plan play days and outings with their grandchildren I am running to preschool and conferences, deciding whether to home-school or not, thinking about music lessons, and wondering how to develop a friend base for a child, when all my contacts for friendship actually avoid interaction with me because I am constantly attending to a young child’s needs; it’s one interruption after another, after another while trying to visit of go somewhere. I feel isolated and alone. I’ve reached out in Bible study, Sunday school classes, and just in general. I’ve made lists of things to pursue for my own growth and to meet new people to ward off these negative feelings, and although I continue to learn and grow, I still come away unconnected with anyone.
As I type this, I have received a heartfelt e-mail from a true friend, prayer warrior, and kindred spirit. Unfortunately she lives thousands of miles away and does not wish to speak by phone, so we e-mail back and forth. It is what feeds my friend hunger when I am starving. I will press on in my friend quest. I am searching for a grandparents group in my area (I wanted to start one at my church and was told there wasn’t a need). I will continue to trust Him for the desires of my heart and the outcome in my situation. There is great joy in each day, even in the toughest moments.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Grandparenting with Grace: Five minute Friday again "writer"

Here I am again on  a Five minute Friday. Joining the group from  writing prompt WRITER. Taking 5 minutes out of my week to do what I wish I would do more-write.

I had dreams of being a writer back in my High School days. Ha. My teachers told me I had a gift. Well. Then life took off and I followed and writing was gone. Lost somewhere like dust in a forgotten corner. Yet, every now and then I took out those pages I had gloried in. Now they are yellowed after 35+ years. But I still have them. Tucked away. Those neat and carefully hand written pages. My heart on paper.

I've added to them. Some pages  handwritten from the early days of "word processors" when I was afraid to even attempt to turn on that strange thing called a computer. Some safely tucked away in an electronic file on my computer in "my documents." From time to time I go back and read my words. And I wonder, did I really write that? There must be a mistake, it sounds too good. I tuck it back away and go on about my daily life-and wonder-then forget.

Am I a writer? Barely. I mean each day flies by and it's the last thing I think about. There are so many other things to get done. Besides, who would ever want to read what I have written.?? Yet, my own words re-read years later bring me to tears. Maybe it's just me who needs to write. And read. And write. And read. . .